Tag Archives: gratitude

My dementia Diary 101 – Gratitude

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Yes, dementia sucks and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but living with dementia has also brought blessings. The experience of being my wife’s caregiver has pushed me to be a better person, challenged my ability to love and forced me to be humble.

We have received help from family, friends, and unexpected places, good people who have stepped up when we needed assistance. In a world that often seems filled with cynicism and negativity, I have been given renewed faith in the basic goodness of human beings.

We’ve had the sweet perfume of roses and buzz of hummingbirds just outside our door.

We have a A treasure chest of wonderful memories from our life together that lights up dark days.

Although dementia is slowly taking my wife’s mind away, it has not taken her cheerfulness. Her joyful smile continues to light up my life.

I’ve never known a more perfect example of love than my wife, my Maria, she is my hero. I could not have been more blessed than to find her smiling face in front of me when I opened the front door that fateful day a dozen years ago.

tio stib

You might also appreciate: Her Smile; My Dementia Diary

 

 

High on Gratitude

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in the muck of news’ day platitudes
I’ve lost my cheery attitude
midst hate and anger screamed and spewed
what happened to beatitudes

but past these ugly, mindless feuds
beyond behavior simply rude
there is another world that can be viewed
in Nature’s holy latitude

in this world outside our doors
flowers dance, birds sing, and oceans roar
a world that heeds not human news
where souls soar high on gratitude

You might also enjoy: Morning Bliss; Life Journey Poems & Prose

Tio Stib

2016, 2019

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Dementia Diary 81 – Today’s Gratitude List

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It’s too easy to forget all we have to be grateful for so I’m stopping to do so today-

Today’s Gratitude List-

My wife’s constant joy for life, and, in spite of her diminishing mental capacity, her ever present love radiating out to everyone she meets.

Our excellent physical health, strong and vital bodies that take us out into the world on foot each day.

Family and friends who reach out regularly to share their love and care for us.

A small town life that is safe, convenient, and filled with beauty.

A home that fits us in every way.

Money in the bank, no debts, and enough income each month to meet expenses.

Health insurance, including a caring and intelligent doctor who cares for both of us.

Advanced technology that lets us connect with friends and family and allows me to write and publish for a worldwide audience.

Fresh tomatoes for BLTs.

The smell of roses by the door.

My wife’s delighted descriptions of hummingbirds buzzing about the feeder.

A treasure chest of wonderful memories to light up dark days.

Lastly, dementia is taking my wife’s mind slowly, enabling us to make the most of the life we still have.

Yes, I could go on and on, but I’ve written enough, thought enough, to be reminded that despite our life challenges, we’ve got a lot of good going for us.

tio stib

You might also enjoy: High on Gratitude, My Dementia Diary

My Dementia Diary 56 – Dealing with Resentment

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“Tis the season of returning Spring vacationees, folks coming back from school breaks and family outings, eager to share the stories of their adventures. I force myself to smile and say, “how nice.” But it’s easy to be resentful.

Sure, cross country skiing through pristine trails in the mountains, drinking margaritas at sunset on a Hawaiian beach, or visiting the the wonderful museums in Washington, D.C., sounds like fun. 

If you’re not blind and caring for a wife with dementia.

Sour grapes? Totally, which is why I work hard not to fall into the resentment trap.

After all, how many people get up in the morning with money in the bank, no debt, and food in the refrigerator? How many people go for a leisurely walk each morning in a comfortable climate through a safe and friendly small town, past sweet smelling flowers and singing birds, and listen to the gentle lap of waves on a beach?

Our adventures may not be as grand and exciting as the returning vacationees, but  ours are no less delightful.

I’m better off being grateful for what we have, than resenting what we don’t.

tio stib

You might also enjoy: My Dementia Diary 53 – The Walk to Paradise Garden, My Dementia Diary

 

My Dementia Diary 42 – My Gratitude List

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Today’s gratitude list-

our good health and well being
a comfortable home that fits us perfectly
living in a safe town in a free country
clear air to breathe, clean water to drink
hot showers
phone calls from caring family
the Brocks, our compassionate neighbors
hot chocolate  and chocolate chip cookies
our daily walk adventures
digital music from Beethoven to Arkenstone
a computer that defies blindness and lets me write
a life full of smiling memories
audio books and my writing mentors
2012, our honeymoon year
a tasty club sandwich
playing the banjo
hearing my wife whistling
snuggles and wet kisses

and another birthday, happy, happy!

tio stib

You might also enjoy: My Dementia Diary 38 – Naked in the Night, Almost Heaven

My Dementia Diary 12 – My Grandfather’s Clock

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There is a clock sitting on the shelf near our bed. It belonged to my mom’s dad and was passed on to me, making it my grandfather’s clock. Over a hundred years old, this timepiece is relatively small, meant to be set on a fireplace mantle, but it has a surprisingly vibrant chime. There are no batteries within, its mechanism driven by a coiled brass spring, which I wind weekly with a dozen turns of a key. For this effort, I am rewarded with a melodious chime counting out each and every hour.

I take comfort from these chimes, from the tick-tock of the ever swinging pendulum, an aroused awareness that time is now. I wonder if my grandfather, my mother, other family members, felt a similar connection.

I’ve lived more than 600,000 hours so far, a surprising number when I attempt to remember the breadth of my life experience. what happened to all those hours? The more important question, what will I do with the hours I have left?

Each tick of that clock is a moment I will never have again.

How many more chimes are left in my life?

How blessed I am to have had so many hours of being.

As my wife sleeps peacefully beside me, I again find comfort in the tick-tock of time, past, present, and future, and I drift away in hopes of hearing the morning chimes once more.

There’s an old folk song that beautifully expresses my sentiments, perfectly named, “My Grandfather’s Clock.” Here’s a link to a Johnny cash rendition

tio stib

You might also enjoy My Dementia Diary 11 – Morning Bliss

My Dementia Diary 11 – Morning Bliss

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After several weeks of blustery cool and wet weather, today dawned warm with azure skies. We started out on our daily walk with one less layer of clothes. I’d even gone so far as abandoning my jeans for shorts. The Spring air, the melodies of newly arrived songbirds, my wife’s constant flow of delighted descriptions of happenings around us, was blissful.

I was suddenly struck with how fortunate we are to have the life we live, a peaceful and safe town closely connected to Nature, nearby friends and convenient walking access to all our daily needs, a comfortable and affordable home.

Given the challenges dementia and blindness present us, it’s hard to imagine how we could have a better living situation.

On top of these blessings, is the gift of still being able to share the simple joys of living in such a perfect place with my wife. True, we no longer have any sort of deep intellectual conversations, yet we can enjoy the little things. Ice cream cones and hot dogs. Tea and cookies. Hummingbirds at the feeder. the honks of Canada geese flying overhead. The smell of the beach at low tide. The laughs of children at the playground. “Hllos” and “How are yous” with neighbors and passersby.

My wife has become my eyes. through her childlike curiosity and delight, I am able to enjoy the world around us.

For this, I am deeply grateful.

tio stib

You might also enjoy: My Dementia Diary 10 – Where’s the Spatula?

The Magic of Breath

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unseen
untouched
and barely felt
how can it be
so precious

and yet
each day
it slips
unnoticed
past the lips
through the noses
of millions

there is magic in a single breath
the start of life
the call of death

tio stib
2017

You might also enjoy: “Intimacy,” “The Question”

A Time When I Could See

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there was once, some years ago
a time when I could see
when ladybugs and butterflies
meant everything to me

a soaring hawk
a baby’s smile
a surging wave around my feet
falling leaves
the setting sun
the colors oh, so sweet

a christmas tree
a bumblebee
bright new socks
birds flying free
a black red rose
a sparkling sea
the rising moon

these simple things meant all to me

there was a time, some years gone by
when what I saw could make me cry

that time has past, just silent screams
are left to echo in my dreams

tio stib, 2016

You might also enjoy: dirty snow, night walk

High on Gratitude

by

in the muck of news’ day platitudes
I’ve lost my cheery attitude
midst hate and anger screamed and spewed
what happened to beatitudes

but past these ugly, mindless feuds
beyond behavior simply rude
there is another world that can be viewed
in Nature’s holy latitudes

in this world outside our doors
flowers dance, birds sing, and oceans roar
a world that heeds not human news
where souls soar high on gratitude

Tio Stib Signature

You might also enjoy: Truth, Promise