Without

there is no happy
without sad
there is no good
without bad

there is no high
without low
there is no stop
without go

there is no wrong
without right
there is no dark
without light

there is no courage
without fear
there is no far
without near

there are no tears
without smiles
there is no distance
without miles

there is no quiet
without din
there is no out
without in

there is no wild
without tame
there is no different
without same

there is no peace
without strife
such are the facts
of daily life

and from these truths
I choose my fate

I will be love
and without hate

tio stib

2015, 2020

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Insomnia

there are bedtimes when 
I dream in peace
a mind released to roam
then others when 
the clock grinds on
in purgatory’s womb
I lay now in eternal night
counting endless sheep
hoping this will somehow lead
to mindless, blissful sleep

tio stib

2015, 2018, 2020

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What Should I Do With My Life?

Today’s weather in Tio’s mind: Partly cloudy, warming

After weeks of sobbing  storms overwhelming me as I’ve grieved for the loss of my wife to dementia, today dawned with glimpses of bright sunshine. I heard birds singing and smelled flowers and blossoms, hints of Spring creeping into my small town world.,

I can feel a new season coming, new life beginning again, but what does this mean for me, what now without the woman with whom I spent all day, every day, all the time for the past ten years? Standing stunned on the edge of a chasm of lonely emptiness, I am left wondering-

What should I do with my life?

Being both introspective and introverted, I let this question bounce around my brain like a ball tumbling through a cosmic pinball machine. Over and over, the resulting answer is the same-

TILT!

Obviously, this mental masochism is going nowhere, so it’s time to just move on, seek out the signs that have guided me to a meaningful life in the past-respect.

Courage. Compassion, Integrity. Gratitude, Simplicity. Fellowship. Nature. Frontiers. Wilderness. Service.

I trust that following the path with heart, I will be guided to the right people, the right places, the right purpose.

I pay attention, I live my truth fearlessly, I expect the best, and-

I GO FOR IT!

tio stib

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Walking With My Lover’s Ghost

walk with me
I hear her softly plead
come
walk with me

and so I rise and go
take the hand that isn’t there
feel the joy in her smile
the smile only my heart can see
hear the memory of her gleeful calls
her waves to passing children
as she scampers to greet them

hugging close
faces glowing in the morning sun
a gentle breeze caresses us
sitting on our seaside bench

I kiss her tenderly
taste the love upon her lips
inhale the sweet scent of her soul
embrace the grace that made us one
blessed us

touching the emptiness beside me
tears slide down my cheeks

come
I plead
walk with me

and I rise again
move on

walking with my lover’s ghost

 

tio stib

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You Will Always Be My Valentine

as I walk the mourning streets alone
holding the hand that isn’t there
her memory calls to me

my love teacher

smile!
life is a precious gift
delight in the wonder of each new day
embrace the sun’s warm touch
dance with moon shadows
drown yourself in the pleasures of flowers
play with children
laugh with babies

love

love

simply love

maria y steve in sand copy.jpg

you will always be my valentine

 

tio stib

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Hand in Hand

the first time we walked together
we got lost
the perfect path
to knowing each other

she never complained
simply smiled
marveled at flowers and bird
held my hand

trusted

we’ve walked on
through mountain meadows
singing with bees and butterflies
dancing barefoot on foggy beaches
gleefully splashing in the waves
hiding under an umbrella in Spring rain
sampling strawberries at the Farmers’ Market
gossiping with passing neighbors
skipping to the grocery store
plopping onto our favorite bench

hand in hand

we walk on

 

tio stib

2019

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First Snow

first snow
white oblivion
whispers
to sleeping earth

hush…

let go
frantic mind
surrender

hush…

forgive your past
your sins
your separation

hush…

a blanket
of serenity

hush

white oblivion
cuddles me
in love’s eternity

first snow
melts,
drips
slowly
down the face
of my soul

hush…

Tio Stib

2014, 2019

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