Tag Archives: being blind

Blind Man on a Bench

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a surprise lover
the cool breeze kisses my cheek
my body delights
in sunshine’s warm embrace

wavelets lap softly on the sand
the scent of seashore drifts into my nose
a fly buzzes by

birds surround me
chirping behind
squawking above
honking across the water
laughter approaches

raucous conversation
“good morning!”
“Good morning to you”
the footsteps fade
a blast of male perfume persists

I bite an apple
crisp
juicy
sour
my lips pucker

smile

immersed in a beautiful day
mind swimming in memories

a blind man on a bench

tio stib

You might also enjoy: High on Gratitude, Hope

Do It Anyway – Mother Teresa

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I offer the following words from Mother Teresa as a source of inspiration in difficult moments-

for children in Calcutta:

              People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

            If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

            If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

           If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

            What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

            If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

            The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

         Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

         In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

-this version is credited to Mother Teresa. It is thought to have been based on “The Paradoxical Commandments” by Dr. Kent Keith.

 

You might also enjoy: A Child’s Smile , If

My Dementia Diary 54 – Losing It

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Last night, I lost it. Blew up. Exploded. Screamed.

It was a singular outburst of dramatic proportion, much more than the trivial event which triggered it, tripping on a misplaced shoe. One emphatic yell and it was over, but that was just the beginning.

My wife, who I know is emotionally fragile, takes any evidence that I’m displeased or simply not happy as an indication that I’m upset with her. My scream unleashed a storm of tears. Once started, there is no rational way to calm her down, it’s a matter of patiently waiting for her mind to reset. She’ll bounce angrily around our place, slamming doors, muttering to herself, and then, suddenly, she’ll come back, hug me, and ask me if I love her.

Of course I do, but I feel terrible that my outburst has so upset her.

I make every effort to avoid such venting, knowing the inevitable consequences. She is love on two feet, not capable of any thought but love for me, for anyone. It is impossible to be angry with her. But sometimes I get angry with being blind.

Then I’m angry with myself for causing her pain and vow to never do it again. 

But sometimes I just loose it.

tio stib

You might also enjoy: My Dementia Diary 35 – A One Act Play, My Dementia Diary

 

Hanging with Happiness

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I used to hang with Happiness
he brought me many smiles
but then one day he disappeared
and left me lonely miles

I used to play with all his friends
Laughter, Joy, Surprise,
no end
but when he left that fateful day
I found they all had gone away

I used to hang with Happiness
he always sparked my mind
but then one day he disappeared
the day that I went blind

he took the world that I could see
including my identity
and left a void inside of me
a life I can no longer be

I miss those days of running free
of feeling wild immensity
now I linger long in bed
lost in wonders in my head

this the only place I see
the only world where I am free
the dreams deep inside of me
and sleep the door that sets me free

I wonder as the day dawns black
if he might someday come back
and with this hope I make my way
a chance that I might hear him say…

listen
I’ve brought my friends to play

tio stib
2015, 2017

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Hotel Hypothermia

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it was a trip mistaken
for a family vacation
a time so cold
my bones grew old
bundled up in layers of clothes
all that showed my bright red nose
even when I went to bed
I never shed a single thread
I wonder how eskimos have sex
queried my now recent ex

pounds of fat fell off of me
as I shivered constantly
take a shower?
I think not
in water that was icy hot

and when at night I had to pee
a new resolve came over me
as toes touched the icy floor
I hurtled towards the bathroom door
and in a fit of urgency
dropped my shorts
but woe to me
the thing that used to flow so free
had shrunk down to
a tiny pea

and so it went from day to night
with not a hint of warmth in sight
until we had to say goodbye
a moment when I nearly cried
afflicted now with freezer phobia
I bid adieu,
God Bless
Hotel Hypothermia

Tio Stib Signature

You might also enjoy: A Tribute to Alex VoiceOver, It’s Coming

He Talks To Me, a Tribute to Alex VoiceOver

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he talks to me
like 2001 Space Odyssey
his name’s not Hal
he’s not my pal
but his words help my blindness see

his voice is suave, it soothes my ears
his speech does much to ease my fears
for in a world of blackened eyes
I really don’t like being surprised

it’s nice to have a constant friend
someone who shows up on command
a friend who calmly reassures
as my computer softly purrs

at least that’s what he used to do
then my computer bid adieu
the fateful day it tried to start
resulting in a cosmic fart

close your eyes
imagine this
your cyber world
is blown amiss
no matter what you try to do
it’s gone
it’s lost
you’re really screwed

when reason slowly comes to mind
you must accept it’s time to find
an Apple freak,
a nerdy geek
someone who makes computers speak

it took some time to find the player
the guy who answered all my prayers
and hours and hours of fitful strife
before the dead returned to life

such happiness, such joy no end
when once again I heard my friend
Alex, awakened from the dead
his voice resounding in my head

dedicated to Mark who introduced me to Alex and Kevin who brought him back to life

tio stig 2015

You might also enjoy: Blind Man’s Bluff, Why I Like Being Blind

Why We Need to Listen

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Here’s a link to a YouTube post from Lorelai La, a woman whose wisdom and insight continually inspires me. This video, “Why We Need to Listen,” feels particularly timely today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHqfwHbyL7o&feature=em-subs_digest

“The first rule of love is to listen” -Paul Tillich

Tio Stib Signature

Hanging with Happiness

by

I used to hang with Happiness
he brought me many smiles
but then one day he disappeared
and left me lonely miles

I used to play with all his friends
Laughter, Joy, Surprise,
no end
but when he left that fateful day
I found they all had gone away

I used to hang with Happiness
he always sparked my mind
but then one day he disappeared
the day that I went blind

he took the world that I could see
including my identity
and left a void inside of me
a life I can no longer be

I miss those days of running free
of feeling wild immensity
now I linger long in bed
lost in wonders in my head

this the only place I see
the only world where I am free
the dreams deep inside of me
and sleep the door that sets me free

I wonder as the day dawns black
if he might someday come back
and with this hope I make my way
a chance that I might hear him say…

listen
I’ve brought my friends to play

tio stib, 2015

You might also enjoy: Truth, A Child’s Smile