Weather Systems of the Mind

I pause and know

they come
demons of darkness
black clouds
in this season of storms

valkyries

naked

my soul is lashed
bashed by fear
drowned in disappointment
chilled by frigid failure
stunned by thunderous disapproval
stumbling in the cacophony of screaming doubt

lost

I pray to survive
this weather system of the mind

tio stib

2019

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Insomnia

there are moments when
I dream in peace
a mind released to roam
then others when
the clock grinds on
and night becomes a tomb

I lay now in eternal night
awaiting mindless deep
a craving need to somehow get
a decent hour’s sleep

tio stib
2015, 2018, 2019

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Breaking Trail

in winter stillness
ancient aspens watch
a chickadee flitting past
feathered music
bouncing
over infinite blue

alone
atop the buried meadow
a man paused
turned
looked back at the trampled snow
the trail of footsteps
each print a shadowed testament
to sweat falling from his brow

all he could see was white
reflected memories in a sea of snow
light’s harsh truth
stinging weary eyes

a deep sigh
a gasp of icy air
a hesitation in the heartbeat of being

a smile

he chooses life

again

tio stib

2016, 2018, 2019

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Breakfast of Memories

for fifty years they’d each returned
back to the same cafe
gathered round the same table
these small town knights
slowly sipping coffee
reviving the Camelot of their youth
alive again
in a breakfast of memories

stories swirled
more smiles than scars
the pranks, the mindless adventures
girlfriends real, love imagined
mountains climbed and races won
friends recalled and gone

they talked of how they’d loved this place
had never thought to leave
but life and time had swept them off
to chase their separate dreams

not one head turned to watch them go
the gray men and their ghosts
and silence roared to fill the void
of legends lost to most

tio stib

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A Season for Adventuring

rocketing through a cacti forest
past towering sentinels frozen in moonlight
night air and music blasting through the cockpit
singing with Cat Stevens
Riding on the peace train

I’m speeding into wildness at 3 a.m.
crossing into the unknown
road tripping
on the loose

Fall has called me forth
to a season for adventuring

ghosting through the morning mist
as day slides from gray to gold
I’m pulled by hunger into a small cafe
cradling a warm coffee cup
I spy the famished hiker beside me
demolishing a plate full of pancakes

he turns and smiles

Fall is freedom
the work is done, the harvest in
I’m on the road again

mornings are cool now
Fall brings a sharpened awareness
a time to wipe fog from my glasses

as growing sunlight melts shadows from the river
cold water swirls about my shivering thighs
I cast to a distant riffle
the line lays out softly
the fly disappears in a splash

lost in the sweet perfume of pine sap
following a dusty trail of memories
the buzz below me sounds familiar

Jeez!

Damn! Helluva rattlesnake!

all those blue highways
all those maps, long before GPS
all those little country stores
all those stops to buy a soda, asking directions

where the heck is Boggan’s Oasis?

and the magic of those unexpected moments

chasing wild horses through a sea of purple sage
eyeing eagles falling from heaven in their mating aerobatics
cresting a final ridge to discover Shangri-La
an azure lake sparkling in an alpine meadow

immersed
alone
in a hot springs pool
steam rising into nothingness
feeling forever in all directions
soul steeped in gratitude
as sky slips from gold
to pink
to gone

I will not travel these roads again
but they will haunt my heart when
once again
Fall calls the vagabond
to a season for adventuring

tio stib

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Hawaii You Here?

It was well past midnight in the architecture studio when a fellow student stuck a video camera in my face and said,

“Hawaii you here?”

We were in the middle of an all-nighter sweating a 10 a.m. deadline for final presentations. The bright Hawaiian shirt I was wearing in hopes of keeping my mind awake in the wee hours likely spawned his question, which translated was,

“Why you here?”

That was many, many years ago. years after a lengthy life journey in search of a meaningful pursuit that ultimately led me to architecture, which is why, in answer to his question, I smiled inches from his camera and said,

“Because I love architecture!”

At this point, my mouthful of “Pop Rocks” exploded. 

Okay, for those who’ve never heard of or treated themselves to this candy sensation, it’s a hard tart sweet candy you toss into your mouth and when it melts, tiny bubbles of pressurized carbon dioxide are released resulting in a sizzling sound and a taste explosion.

When this surprising spectacle is presented open mouthed to a close up video camera lens, it’s absolutely gross.

But, in our defense, it was well past midnight, and anything that jolted us back to consciousness outside of drinking and drugs was fair play. The drinking and drugs came later.

So much for the leap back in time, let us resume our conversation in the present,

“Hawaii you here”

Just what are you doing here on my blog? Rest assured, I lay awake at night puzzling over why so many people from so many places with so many different backgrounds visit “Travels with Tio.” Is it the catchy title? The image of a stunning sunset over the Teton Mountains in Wyoming, the witty and humorous posts, the poetry? Or, are you intrigued by how a blind guy stays sane while caring for his demented wife?

As I get about 1 actual comment for every 50 visitors to my site and this is not a statistically relevant sample, I’d really like to hear from you. Rest assured that I will sleep better at night and will certainly answer you back. Heck, I might even send you a package of “Pop Rocks.” (Send your mailing address to tiostib@gmail.com, and I will introduce you to this unique candy experience).

“Hawaii you here?”

tio stib

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Is There Anything Sweeter?

once
my life was a never ending to do list
every minute, every hour, every day
riding the nowhere train
always something to be done
another meeting, another deadline, another promise to keep

the notion of a nap was a faraway fantasy

then

I jumped off-

now

today’s calendar is blank
an empty page
uncluttered, unfettered, unpromised
the delicious bliss of nothingness

what to do on this sumptuously lazy afternoon

the easy chair beckons
a deep breath, a sigh, a shuttering of eyes

happy memory movies play across my mind

is there anything sweeter than an afternoon nap?

tio stib

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