my cane bumped into him on the sidewalk
stopped by stuff that had fallen from his little train
the wagons of belongings he pulled behind
we’d met before
crossing paths as we wandered unseen
unnoticed
through our silent town
and here he was again
the mutterings
the smell of tobacco and ragged clothes
good morning, I said
as he scurried to tidy up
mumbling a response
making room for me to pass
I walked by
wondering
about two solitary men
homeless in our different ways
tio stib
Last night I dreamed I was paddling a canoe up a lake in the middle of the night. It was calm, I felt peaceful, yet there was one concern. The canoe was underwater. I was trying to paddle a submarine.
I’ve spent years listening to my dreams, paying attention to patterns, weighing the emotions of dreams with respect to my life at the moment. I believe larger forces speak to me in that unconscious world, forces that can guide me to awareness of deeper truths. This pushes me to wonder, why was I paddling a submarine?
I know there are many ways to interpret dreams, but ultimately, I tend to accept that my dreams are about me. Over the years, I’ve noticed that when I’m honest about how I feel in my dreams, they have given me clues to parts of me I needed to pay attention to.
Paddling a submarine. I feel this dream was about my need to live an authentic life. Paddling the canoe was me moving forward in life. My goal was to get to the end of the lake, to a state of inner peace, but I was struggling because I was keeping my emotions below the surface. If I would allow my feelings to express themselves above the water, I would have less resistance to life and my journey would be immensely easier.
I need to be genuine, original, true and trustworthy, and not be in fear of what the world may think of me in my many moments of smallness.
Authenticity means to be honest, to be vulnerable, to take risks. Authenticity is built one day, one choice, at a time. It is a process of continually stepping out of my comfort zone and engaging the world from a place of worthiness vs. shame.
Authenticity is a daily journey into the wilderness of being fully alive.
What’s the greater risk I ask myself? Living life based on what other people think, or being vibrantly alive based on how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?
This blog, “Travels with Tio, a blind writer’s path to happiness,” is my journey, my choice, to be all of me, fully alive. It is one way I will raise myself from paddling a submarine, to paddling a canoe, to perhaps even flying.
What does authenticity mean to you? How does it affect your life?
Please share your feelings on being the authentic “you”.
tio Stib
2013, 2017, 2018, 2025
Brene’ Brown has a TED talk, “Listening to Shame,” in which she explores the challenges of authenticity. Brown believes authenticity is a process, a series of choices we make in our lives, choices made each day, in each moment, to be real…or not.
Here’s the link: http://www.cnn.com/2012/04/15/opinion/brown-authentic-self/index.html?hpt=op_bn2
I meet a lot of old men walking dogs
sometimes we stop and talk a bit
how’s it going?
what’s your dog’s name
Charlie
Galahad
Spook
one guy is a poet who offers his daily verse
I listen, smile, and pet Rocky
continuing on, I wonder
should I get a dog?
do I need a dog?
my daughter thinks so
she’s always urging me
you need a pet
something to fill the hole in your life
the emptiness from losing your wife
yes, I concur
there is a hole
certainly an emptiness
but there is also a deep, rich
feeling of gratitude
that I was blessed to have had
even for a short time
the bliss of perfect love
I do like dogs
have had a few over the course of years
but these beautiful creatures require, yes need
a certain kind of responsible care
and you can’t just lay them off on your kids
like grandchildren
when you tire and can’t keep up your end of the deal
so I do my morning walks alone
greet the other old men passing by
pet their dogs
and walk on
but I’m never alone
love is always with me now
tio stib
there is a porch
in my mind’s quiet place
broad
shaded
open
here I sit looking out
listening
enjoying
sounds and thoughts waving
in the gentle breeze of memories
in my garden of words
tio stib
what makes a word a weed?
makes me suddenly
yank it out
toss it from my poetic flower bed
I must admit it’s never rational
never logic
just pure and simple whim
it sounds odd
doesn’t fit
just a weed
goodbye
tio stib
Gasping from my lofty climb
I search for shadows left behind
The ghosts of journeys once so strong
how can it be
they’re so far gone
In this forlorn solitude
my spirit aches to be renewed
to share the path of life again
to walk beside a noble friend
tio stib
2015, 2025
today I burned our dreams
all the visions
all the goals
all those plans we’d made together
I placed them on a funeral pyre
lit them up
watched them melt in flames
felt them float away in smoke
let them go
and I smiled
remembering
we lived those dreams
we walked hand in hand
in the heart of God
tio stib
the grocery clerk who
bags my things
the coffee man
who sometimes sings
postman, gardener, neighbors too
greeting me with
how are you?
all the lovely people
who lift me on my way
their nods, their smiles, their greetings
that brighten up each day
and as I lay my head to rest
my heart full, I must confess
my simple life
is richly blessed
tio stib
there are moments when
I dream in peace
a mind released to roam
then others when
the clock grinds on
and night becomes a tomb
I lay now in eternal night
awaiting mindless deep
a craving need to somehow get
a decent hour’s sleep
tio stib
2015, 2018, 2025
Some are vanilla,
predictably plain
Dependably true
always the same
Some are exotic
quixotic
sherbets with fireworks lives
occasionally glancing
to check others’ eyes
then the specials
like bubblegum treat
wildly different
sumptuous sweets
Yes, chocolate, strawberry,
and rocky road too
friends of all flavors
some licked and
some chewed
like ice cream
I taste them
each one of a kind
then off on their way
they melt in my mind
Yet over the years
a few friends remain
these flavors I savor
again
and again
tio stib,
2014, 2016, 2018, 2025
