you came in a delirium of dreams exotic erotic intoxicating floating through a window of memories a soft caress a gentle kiss a walk in paradise garden straining through sleepiness I reach for an unseen smile lost in moonlit mist hiding in the scent of midnight jasmine tio stib
walk with me
I hear her softly plead
come
walk with me
and so I rise and go
take the hand that isn’t there
feel the joy in her smile
the smile only my heart can see
hear the memory of her gleeful calls
her waves to passing children
as she scampers to greet them
hugging close
faces glowing in the morning sun
a gentle breeze caresses us
sitting on our seaside bench
I kiss her tenderly
taste the love upon her lips
inhale the sweet scent of her soul
embrace the grace that made us one
blessed us
touching the emptiness beside me
tears slide down my cheeks
come
I plead
walk with me
and I rise again
move on
walking with my lover’s ghost
tio stib
You might also appreciate: You Will Always Be My Valentine; My Dementia Diary
she sits across from me
a frozen frame in memory
head turned
streaks of sunshine glowing on her face
her sparkling eyes staring out the window
dreaming of the life we would have together
smiling
the waitress sets our plates before us
and the woman who would be my wife
looks up and thanks her
we eat our meal
greet passersby
enjoy the bliss of oneness
now,
years later
sitting at the same table
gazing at the emptiness across from me
I wonder
did her dreams come true
mine did
tio stib
holding the year’s last rose in her hand
she disappeared
whisked away on the first day of winter
gone forever on a cold December day
my head said it was for the best
said I could not give the care she needed
said I had to let her go
my heart said
NO!
I made tea
cleaned up
pretended I was strong
wondered why I could not hear her near me
why I felt so empty and alone
and I cried
cried hugging all the memories
cried as I walked with her
danced with her
cried sitting with her on the seaside bench
our faces kissed by the morning breeze
cried hearing her sing out to passing children
cried as I touched her sleeping softness
cried every day through the longest winter of my life
cried far into sunnier seasons
this morning, when I opened my eyes
I thought of her once more
and I smiled
tio stib
You might also appreciate: You Will Always Be My Valentine; My Dementia Diary
“Where’s your wife?”
The grocery clerks, the drug store help, coffee shop baristas, deli servers, librarians, they all ask the same question. When I return now, alone, to the places we frequented together, they all expect to see the blind guy and his ever cheerful wife.
But she’s not there, so they ask,
“Where’s your wife?”
And I try to answer, tear up, reach out to hold her hand that isn’t there, start crying, because I’m asking the same question,
Where’s my wife?
tio stib
You might also appreciate: The Walk to Paradise Garden; My Dementia Diary
Tennyson wrote
“tis better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all”
I have loved and lost
left tearfully treading water
in an infinite ocean of loneliness
tio stib
You might also appreciate: Both Sides; My Dementia Diary
Sorting through her things, my fingers find a shape I know.
a paper heart
A message from a far off place
I love you!
and there are more
she has left me a trail of hearts
with each new discovery
I hold her close
press her memory to my chest
and cry
because paper hearts are not enough
tio stib
You might also enjoy: As Good As It Gets; My Dementia Diary
tenderly
I placed it in her hand
the last rose
the last flower
from the summer garden of our life
she touches the petals to her lips
smiles
and they drive her away
disappear
and she’s gone
oh, how my heart aches for one more kiss
to touch her forehead to my lips
to slowly breathe in the woman
the rose that captivates my soul
but the road is empty now
I’m left alone
wandering a winter garden of memories
tio stib
You might also enjoy: This Child Who Once Was Woman; My Dementia Diary
Travels with Tio 