Unknown's avatar

Control Freaking

I live a funny fantasy
that I control how life will be
if only I pay constant mind
to details of my daily grind

I keep a list
of things to do
and push myself
to follow through
for if one thing
does not get done
I can’t pretend
I’m having fun

I do all this
to sideline stress
it seldom works
I must confess
and people?
they’re such a mess

for often, every day it seems
I find others don’t support my dreams
they ask that I give up my list
I fume
I pout,
I’m really pissed

so I sit and ponder here
do I give up this list so dear
what is it I really fear

if I stop controlling life
will this result in constant strife
if I slow to let love in
will pain clutch my heart again

the truth, of course
is sadly clear
this game that I hold so dear
simply masks
what I most fear
that love will hurt
if it gets near

tio stib, 2015

You might also enjoy? Intimacy; Winning the Love Game, For Guys Only

Unknown's avatar

Queries, Publishers, Rejections and Rewrites

A funny thing happened at the end of my last tryst with writing immortality, a guy actually offered to publish my book, and on his dime. Yes, for the first time in my less than illustrious writing career, somebody besides me is paying for putting out my work. I was a bit slow to realize this was happening.

During our fourth discussion, as I’m silently adding up the numbers he’s quoting for the publishing process and comparing them to my dwindling bank account, my new publisher friend said, “You do realize that I’m paying for this, don’t you?”

No, I did not.

Wheee!

True, there is no advance or instant wealth from this deal, but even better, he offered the services of an editor to guide me through rewriting the book. Yes, I was wise enough to realize that calling my manuscript a “rough draft” was overly generous, and I welcomed the opportunity to improve it with the aid of intelligent and insightful feedback.

And I wasn’t going to have to pay for this advice.

Whee!

A brief history is in order. I finished this book in June and immediately went to work doing what I’d done with previous books. I sent dozens of queries to agents and publishers offering my literary jewel to a hopefully eager marketplace. Truthfully, as I’d done this previously, I had no illusions that this effort would be productive, but I felt some sort of beginning writer’s obligation to go through the process so I’d have a common subject to commiserate

with should I chance to come upon another struggling writer.

Imagine my surprise when, nearly as soon as I sent out my many emailed queries, I began to get actual email responses. Yes, these were all rejections but they were signs that someone had actually taken enough interest in my book to write back. Given that the typical form of agent and publisher rejection is no response at all, I was delighted.

How sad is that, a man rejoicing in rejection?

Why the sudden rash of written rejections? This time, I’d added a flashy bit of cover art to my manuscript, having hired an illustrator to crate something that would excite an audience response. This apparently worked, but it seems that after the readers turned to the second page, interest immediately waned.

Who says first impressions aren’t everything?

Somewhat wiser from previous marketing experiences, I’d also sent letters to numerous environmental organizations whose interests paralleled the theme in my book. I was encouraged when several of them offered to promote my book but not until it was published.

Are you familiar with the phrase “Catch 22?”

Yes, I’ve done the self-publishing thing and there is a certain sense of pride seeing my title on Amazon accompanied with a few positive reviews. However that pride dissipates quickly when I remember that my title is one of about two million currently listed on amazon. This realization put me back in the recliner chair reconsidering the meaning of life, and then a slightly more manageable topic, why did I write this book?

I wrote “Perils of Payeto, the Last Vaquita Porpoise,” to provoke a discussion about how Man relates to Nature in today’s world. I wrote it to encourage young people to explore ideas about how they can make their world better. I wrote it to give teachers a tool for studying how increased awareness of the natural world can lead to new ideas and programs to create a sustainable balance between the activities of Man and Nature.

Okay, that’s all noble and good, but what’s the practical reality here? I don’t really care how many copies I sell on Amazon, what I really want to do is get my book into the hands and minds of young people, especially in schools in Baja California.

I do enjoy my day dreams in that easy chair. I was about to dive into the question of how to get my book into those schools when I received an ∑email from a friend, the afore mentioned illustrator who did the dazzling cover. Seems he also worked for a publisher who was interested in the book. This turned out to be the guy who offered to ∑put my book out and pay for the process.

And here I am. The book has been rewritten and is much more solid for the effort. I’m about to get the English copy translated into Spanish, as publishing the book in an English/Spanish bilingual format seems to be a better way to offer it to the school audience I’m seeking in Mexico.

Looking back at the past three months, what did I learn?

Never give up!

Sometimes success is just a step away and it can sneak up from unexpected places.

Wishing you all the best!

Tio Stib Signature

You might also enjoy: Writing Well , Why I Write Poetry

Unknown's avatar

The Crossing

I plunged bare feet into the stream
shocking cold
a primal scream

ice water rushes round my thighs
shaking teeth
teary eyes

slippery stones
Ouch!
soaked arm and seat
distant shore
twelve steps to greet

gritting on, a drunken dance
nearly falling
whoa!
a wobbly stance

so close now, I yell and rant
I want to run but simply can’t
one last lunge
Oops!

a wet face plant

tio stib, 2015

You might also enjoy: Seattle Sun, Dirty Snow
Tags:

Unknown's avatar

Ridge Runner

I broke onto a flat plateau
into a world I chanced to know
after hours of hillside sweat
I stopped to breathe a land yet met

beyond in vast infinity
blue mountains rolled in majesty
and from the ridge on which I perched
a path led on
a primal urge

Surrounded in a flower sea
the buzz of life enveloped me
bright colors fed my starving eyes
a soul connect with ancient ties

floating on forever feet
lungs filled deep with earthly sweets
body lost and spirit led
I followed on to find my bed

this a world I’d only dreamed
so many years
so many schemes
until at last a mountain climbed
brought me home
to Nature’s mind

tio stib, 2015

You might also enjoy: The Crossing, Dead Horse Point

Unknown's avatar

The Comfort of Complacency

is it worth it
to have fleeting comfort
while the self
slips away
in the shadow
of complacency

is it worth it
to pretend life is good
as the price for love
to force a smile
when the heart
is screaming

can I truly exist
with the constant
drumming of defeat
deafening my spirit
killing the will
to be

what will it take
for my soul
to stand
demand
the right to live
the truth

tonight
as I stare
into oblivion
these thoughts
keep me
sleepless

tio stib, 2015

You might also enjoy: Intimacy, The Question

Unknown's avatar

Control Freaking

I live a funny fantasy
that I control how life will be
if only I pay constant mind
to details of my daily grind

I keep a list
of things to do
and push myself
to follow through
for if one thing
does not get done
I can’t pretend
I’m having fun

I do all this
to sideline stress
it seldom works
I must confess
and people?
they’re such a mess

for often, every day it seems
I find others don’t support my dreams
they ask that I give up my list
I fume
I pout,
I’m really pissed

so I sit and ponder here
do I give up this list so dear
what is it I really fear

if I stop controlling life
will this result in constant strife
if I slow to let love in
will pain clutch my heart again

the truth, of course
is sadly clear
this game that I hold so dear
simply masks
what I most fear
that love will hurt
if it gets near

tio stib, 2015

You might also enjoy? Intimacy; Winning the Love Game, For Guys Only

Unknown's avatar

Hanging with Happiness

I used to hang with Happiness
he brought me many smiles
but then one day he disappeared
and left me lonely miles

I used to play with all his friends
Laughter, Joy, Surprise,
no end
but when he left that fateful day
I found they all had gone away

I used to hang with Happiness
he always sparked my mind
but then one day he disappeared
the day that I went blind

he took the world that I could see
including my identity
and left a void inside of me
a life I can no longer be

I miss those days of running free
of feeling wild immensity
now I linger long in bed
lost in wonders in my head

this the only place I see
the only world where I am free
the dreams deep inside of me
and sleep the door that sets me free

I wonder as the day dawns black
if he might someday come back
and with this hope I make my way
a chance that I might hear him say…

listen
I’ve brought my friends to play

tio stib, 2015

You might also enjoy: Truth, A Child’s Smile

Unknown's avatar

She Thinks Purex is Perfume

A Tribute to Domestic Stew

My wife thinks Purex is perfume
she daily douses every room
and drowns each floor
with bleach galore
a stench that soon
provokes a swoon
and drives me out
to shout the moon

tio stib, 2015

You might also enjoy: Where the Sidewalk Ends, Seattle Sun

Unknown's avatar

Running Forward, Looking Back

for years I ran
and life stood still
my face an ageless mask
time flowed by
in silent haste
past truth
I dared not task

there was a change
I’d felt it creep
as childhood
disappeared
but then
somehow
I’ve never crossed
the line
I’ve greatly feared

for somewhere lost
deep in my soul
a thought that leaves me
cold
that one day I will awake
to find myself
grown old

I think if I run fast enough
my fate cannot be caught
but there is a whisper
in the mirror

denial is for naught

tio stib, 2015

You might also enjoy: Why I Write Poetry, Truth
Tags:

Unknown's avatar

Ridge Runner

I broke onto a flat plateau
into a world I chanced to know
after hours of hillside sweat
I stopped to breathe a land yet met

beyond in vast infinity
blue mountains rolled in majesty
and from the ridge on which I perched
a path led on
a primal urge

Surrounded in a flower sea
the buzz of life enveloped me
bright colors fed my starving eyes
a soul connect with ancient ties

floating on forever feet
lungs filled deep with earthly sweets
body lost and spirit led
I followed on to find my bed

this a world I’d only dreamed
so many years
so many schemes
until at last a mountain climbed
brought me home
to Nature’s mind

tio stib, 2015

You might also enjoy: The Crossing, Dead Horse Point