I’ve struggled with this post, started and stopped it many times, unable to create any sort of writing momentum. I sense this is the result of a month in Mexico, spending the Christmas holidays with my wife’s family in a world that is quite foreign to me.
I took my wife to her home town because I felt it might be the last Christmas she would be able to remember who her family was. It was a trip that had to be made. It was a trip I’ve avoided since I lost my sight as the world there is a blind person’s nightmare. It is not only a never ending physical obstacle course for the disabled, but it is also noisy, dirty, and unsafe. I spend the entire time there in survival mode, just trying to stay sane.
Needless to say, any urge I might have had for creative writing quickly disappeared.
And so it went for a very long month. yes, the family was glad to reconnect with my wife, especially our two oldest kids. It was interesting to note how different family members interacted with her. I was impressed that her mother, normally quite loud and outspoken, simply listened as her daughter babbled on and on, repeating questions, often making no sense. Mom was simply happy to have her daughter with her. Our daughter, though, kept telling her mom to speak Spanish instead of gibberish. That wasn’t going to happen. She couldn’t accept her mom’s dementia.
After days of dragging us around doing errands and my wife getting upset with the continuing chaos, our son realized he was going to have to change his attitude and behavior with her. He’d finally grasped that his mom was no longer a rational, intelligent adult but a loving, open hearted four year old. Instead of trying to make his mom fit into his world, he would need to fit into hers.
And so, he just played with her.
That was the high point of our visit.
It has been several days since our return to the States. I didn’t realize how exhausting the journey had been until we returned home. I now have an even deeper appreciation of our simple, ordered life here.
I’m hoping the urge to write will reawaken again.
tio stib
You might also enjoy: My Dementia Diary 10 – Where’s the Spatula?, My Dementia Diary
Travels with Tio 
First of all I wonder if we even understand and therefore be thankful for how good we have it in our clean and rational living environment. Then, there’s the being able to navigate by sight. But then there’s having our right mind that is difficult for all to understand when it starts going. You did a good thing in allowing everyone that time together. But, to share it with all of us… that is a very good thing. It’s so important to humanize the struggle of dementia. So, thank you.
Thank you for your kind thoughts and for sharing your own caring journey with dementia.