it was a trip mistaken
for a family vacation
a time so cold
my bones grew old
bundled up in layers of clothes
all that showed my bright red nose
even when I went to bed
I never shed a single thread
I wonder how eskimos have sex
queried my now recent ex

pounds of fat fell off of me
as I shivered constantly
take a shower?
I think not
in water that was icy hot

and when at night I had to pee
a new resolve came over me
as toes touched the icy floor
I hurtled towards the bathroom door
and in a fit of urgency
dropped my shorts
but woe to me
the thing that used to flow so free
had shrunk down to
a tiny pea

and so it went from day to night
with not a hint of warmth in sight
until we had to say goodbye
a moment when I nearly cried
afflicted now with freezer phobia
I bid adieu,
God Bless
Hotel Hypothermia

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